What Women Want

Speaking of women, if you want proof that the Christian Fruits of the Spirit are great templates for masculinity, look no further than the female sex.

Female attraction is a diverse patina.  Freud, of course, was famously puzzled by it.  However, clear trends exist; there are certain things that most women want – and these things are quite a bit different than what most of modern media – and the football culture – will tell you.

.For example, in a recent survey of 1,000 women, the top five most sexually attractive characteristics were faithfulness, dependability, kindness, moral integrity, and fatherliness.

The top five personality traits were humorousness, intelligence, passion, confidence, and generosity. 

            Listening was identified by over twice as many women as earning potential as a very desirable characteristic.  A muscular build was identified by less than a fifth as many women as moral integrity. 

Again, this might come as a shock to some of you, if you’ve gotten your information from people telling you what women want, instead of asking them.  Most women aren’t looking primarily for money, a great body, aggression, dominance, or achievement.  They’re looking for the fruits of the spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. 

Anecdotally, I’ve found this very true.  The young men in my church who really get how to be men, who are patient and kind and self-controlled, always seem to end up with intelligent, funny, incredibly good-looking young women.  The intelligent, funny, incredibly good-looking young women in my church always seem to end up with patient, kind, and self-controlled young men. 

When I was younger, this came as a surprise.  Raised in the prevailing culture, I somehow got the impression that young men of character didn’t stand a chance.  As I’ve grown older and seen it happen again and again, I’ve come to realize that this is exactly what women want: a good man.  If a young woman in search of a man ends up with someone who doesn’t display the much-denigrated fruits of the spirit, then she won’t be happy.  Not really.

From my Christian perspective, this is the way God designed us.  If you’re inclined toward evolutionary biology, you can consider how natural selection favors males who contribute positively to the lives of their partners, families, and communities.

Whatever your explanation, the simple fact remains that most women get turned on more by the traits civilization has always considered the be masculine – not by the perverted masculinity emphasized in the football culture.